Sender elaborates: Smeary cock on the side of Sainsbury’s Maidenhead. I didn’t stop to investigate what substance has been used to create it, I hope it’s toothpaste.
Category: Medium unknown, supermarket
No. I’m sorry, but no. No panache, no style. Penis artists: if you can’t be bothered then neither can we.
Cock rating: 1/10 Poor
Category: Graffiti (subway)
Given its location in a busy subway, the creator of this piece could reasonably have been pushed for time before the filth arrived. However, in our view, that is no excuse for such a slapdash cock and shows a lack of commitment and imagination on the part of the artist.
We don’t usually go in for scathing reviews of cocks and we love simplicity, but this! Is it even a cock? It could be a sad duck. No effort has been made to make a statement with the cock, assuming that it is one.
Artists: If you’re pushed for time with your centrally located cock, why not make a stencil before setting out? Preparing in advance allows one to produce a high standard cock with minimum fuss and to be in and out before anyone notices.
Frankly, we’re not even convinced that this artist has ever even seen a penis.
Cock rating: 3/10 (points awarded for a daring location, only)
Category: Graffiti (shed)
We’ve actually had this particular cock submitted more than once, which just goes to show how engaging it is.
Just what is the artist trying to say? Is the cock flaccid, perhaps communicating the artist’s feelings of emasculation in a post-feminist world? Is the cock at half-mast, signalling confusion or insecurity? Does the frankly severe Jap’s eye hint at the increasing gap between rich and poor? Are the slightly overlapping balls a nod to this year’s Olympic Games? Does the artist disapprove of the Games and think they were bollocks, or did they give him a semi?
We may never know. What we do know is that this spraypainted cock on the side of a shed in an allotment adjoining a nature reserve is as thought provoking as it is bold. More like this, please.
Cock rating: 8/10
Category: Art Cock
A beautifully rendered, delightfully shiny cock nestling among the leaves here. It’s not your average toilet wall scribble by any means. It’s a cock your nan might have on a commemorative plate. It’s a cock you can gaze at and revel in all the detail. A cock to return to again and again.
The artist clearly loves the cock dearly.
Cock rating: 9/10
Show us your cock
Not that. Oh please not that.
What we’re looking for are particularly good examples of cartoon cocks and balls you’ve seen on public transport, under railway arches, in lavatories. Anywhere the cartoon cock and ball fairy has visited.
Please do not send in pictures of actual willies or we’ll tell your mum.
I’m afraid this site is just cocks. I’m sure you can find an alternative website to cater to your frankly DISGUSTING tastes.